Date:   03/16/07

Text:   Nehemiah 5:1-19

Title:   Facing Conflict

Theme: Since God desires his people to live in harmony and unity, therefore we are to learn to face conflicts with a proper attitude.

Introduction:

  911 united the country in a way that was not seen in recent history. It changed the way we travel. Gone are the days when you can meet the arrival or departure friends and relatives at the gate. There are long lines at the security check points. We don't seem to mind the lines or taking off our shoes. There is this unity in facing external opposition, the enemy. However, the last two presidential elections polarized the country unlike other presidential elections in the past. Enemies from without can unite us. But oppositions and enemies from within can paralyze and demoralize us.

  The same goes for the church. Few will leave the church when the church is facing enemies from the outside world. But many have left the church when there is internal rivalry and conflicts. Few people welcome conflicts. I want to avoid conflicts at all cost. I have the wishful thinking of ????? , ????? . As you know, this seldom works, only make things worse.

Two weeks ago, we learned that Nehemiah and his people were united to stand up against their enemies from the East, West, North and South. Now in chapter 5, they face another kind of enemy: from within their own ranks. It was the poor against the rich, the citizens against their rulers. A potentially explosive issue. And may be for this reason, an entire chapter is devoted to this and its solution. However, what underlies this issue is that Jerusalem is a symbol of God's presence with his people. This presence is manifested in His people living in harmony and unity.

The same is true with the Christian church. As members in this community, it is God's desire that we, too, live in harmony and unity with one another. However, because of human sinfulness, we sin against each other, causing rivalry and conflicts. If conflicts are not properly dealt with, it will grow like a cancer, doing great harm to the church, bringing shame to Christ's name. However, what do you do when you are under pressure, finding yourself in a conflict?

This morning, we want to learn from Nehemiah's narrative to find out how to deal with our conflicts. The same principles can be applied to our families as well.

I.   Nehemiah listened to his people.

  Vs.1 tells us of the severity of the problem at hand. “ Now there arose a great outcry of the people and of their wives against their Jewish brothers .” It was a great complaint against members of their community. Not the outsiders, but one of their own. It included the wives, most likely because the husbands were out building the walls and gates. For women of that day to cry out great complaints underlines the seriousness of the problem.

  Vs.2-5 tells us about the nature of the complaint, “ For there were those who said, “With our sons and our daughters, we are many. So let us get grain, that we may eat and keep alive.” 3 There were also those who said, “We are mortgaging our fields, our vineyards, and our houses to get grain because of the famine.” 4 And there were those who said, “We have borrowed money for the king's tax on our fields and our vineyards. 5 Now our flesh is as the flesh of our brothers, our children are as their children. Yet we are forcing our sons and our daughters to be slaves, and some of our daughters have already been enslaved, but it is not in our power to help it, for other men have our fields and our vineyards.” Apparently there had been a famine recently. Basically there were 3 groups of people. First, those without land, with no money to buy grains. Secondly, those with land but had mortgaged their properties in order to buy grains and pay taxes. Thirdly, those who had no money to pay off their debts, and it was so bad that they had to sell their children into slavery. It was a very dismal condition: the rich getting richer and the poor getting poorer. This was social injustice. What made it even worse was that such injustice was from one Jew to another.

   Vs.6, “ I was very angry when I heard their outcry and these words. .” Here we saw that Nehemiah listened to the people. Very often in a conflict situation, we tend to react to situations. Being patient and listen to others is the last thing we'll do. I often have to keep telling myself, be calm, be patient and listen to what the other person has to say. As pastors, we are often reminded to listen to the congregation. Spend time with the people and hear them out.

  I think of times when there were crises in various fellowship groups. The elders and advisors are usually the first ones who know about it. And I always find them calm and patient and listening to the people. The same is also true when there is crises in different families. Very often the most we can do to help is to lend a listening ear to the couple. Give them the time they need to express their problems and frustrations.

  Besides listening we also noted Nehemiah's emotional response to the situation.

1 •  Angry feeling.

Vs.6, “ I was very angry when I heard their outcry and these words. ? .” He was very angry. Why? Being well versed in the OT, Nehemiah knew from Leviticus and Deuteronomy, that the leaders are to protect and help the poor and weak. They were told not to expect interest when they loaned money to their fellow Jews. All debts were to be cancelled on the 7 th year. If someone was sold into slavery to a foreigner, the community was to do their best to redeem them back. When someone is sold to slavery to a fellow Jew, they must be paid double the price. It is God's desire, it pleases God when His people live in harmony and unity. The rich helping and taking care of the poor, the widows and the orphans. But now, the poor were being exploited. This is wrong. This is a violation of God's law. This was the reason for Nehemiah's anger.

What makes us angry? Here are some causes: when others are not following our desire in doing certain things; when our spouse spent too much time shopping and making us wait; when you make or hint negative comments about my family; when I am not being understood; when I feel I am being attacked and treated unfairly; when I feel you are neglecting me; when I perceive my child is being treated unfairly in the SS. From a certain perspective, these are rather selfish reasons for anger.

Nehemiah was very angry because individuals were violating God's law. Jesus was angry when the business people were taking advantage of the poor in the temple; when the house of prayer had turned into a place of exploitation.

Dear brothers and sisters, instead of getting angry when things are not done our way, we need to ask God to help us develop what we call righteous anger. Let's not get angry over personal preferences. May our emotions be aroused, be angry with things that would make God angry. Let us be angry when God's laws are being broken in and outside this community. Let us be angry when we see how the poor and the elderly in this country are constantly being marginalized. Let us be angry when we see the society treating the unborn child as a blob of tissue with no value whatsoever.

  Yes, Nehemiah was angry, but what did he do about it?

2 •  Anger management

Vs.7, “ 7 I took counsel with myself, and I brought charges against the nobles and the officials. I said to them, “You are exacting interest, each from his brother.” And I held a great assembly against them , …” he counseled himself. He thought it over. This is anger management, right? Instead of lashing out his angry feelings, he counseled himself, he thought it over. Recently a couple shared with me that they were both very concerned about the husband's anger. He would bottle up many of his negative feeling over some of the wife's behavior and words. Then he would explode in a very unhealthy manner. She was very discouraged and disappointed over such explosion of temper. He too, was scared at his own temper. I shared with him that next time when he started to feel such strong emotions coming, ask himself these questions: “why do I feel this way? Is this behavior really justified for my strong reaction? Is this mine or her problem?” If anger persists, then I need to learn how to express such strong emotions without hurting others. I may need to learn to say: I am angry; I am angry when I hear this; I am angry when I see this happens. Focus on how I feel and not to put the blame on others.

Yes, we can be angry, but let us not let our anger lead us into hurting others and behaviors displeasing to God. Let's continue on to see what Nehemiah did after thinking.

II.   Nehemiah confronted behaviors that were against God's laws.

  After giving thoughts to the situation, Nehemiah confronted the leaders directly. Vs.7, “… brought charges against the nobles and the officials. I said to them, “You are exacting interest, each from his brother.” And I held a great assembly against them ? ” He clearly stated the problem to the Jewish leaders and those who were well to do. Commentators have suggested that since there was no immediate response from the nobles, Nehemiah called an assembly and brought the charges into the open. He confronted them with the problem, and challenged them to action: return all that was taken from the poor. He pointed out to them how shameful it is to exploit your own people, making them the object of ridicule by their enemies. When Nehemiah saw a wrong committed, he confronted the wrong doers, calling them to repent to do what was right, pleasing to God. Here we notice how confrontation works.

1•  Courage to confront.

Nehemiah first approached the leaders directly. When they were not responding, he brought the matter to the open. This is an illustration of what Jesus taught in Matthew 18:15-17, If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother." 16 "But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses." 17 "If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector." If there is a wrong doing, talk to the individual in person. If he refused to listen, bring another person. The last step is to bring the matter to the public. This requires courage.

2•  Confront with humility.

Nehemiah clearly told the leaders that what they did was wrong. Vs.9-11, So I said, “The thing that you are doing is not good. Ought you not to walk in the fear of our God to prevent the taunts of the nations our enemies? 10 Moreover, I and my brothers and my servants are lending them money and grain. Let us abandon this exacting of interest. 11 Return to them this very day their fields, their vineyards, their olive orchards, and their houses, and the percentage of money, grain, wine, and oil that you have been exacting from them.” Nehemiah called their attention to the fact that what they did was not pleasing to God. It had nothing to do with his own preference or standards. His confrontation was driven by God's Law; God's standard for taking care of the poor and the weak.

Not only this, Nehemiah also mentioned that he and his household are also guilty lending money with interest to the poor. But he was willing to give up this practice.

Nehemiah ended this narrative with a personal example. As a governor, he was entitled to certain benefits. Such as receiving grain and food from the people; receive a salary for his expense. But he did none of this. He refused to be a burden to his people. He used his own money to feed his large staff. Here we see his humility and honesty as a leader.

What does it mean to us today? I know some people, because of their personality, donot mind confrontation. I dislike confrontation. I'd do anything possible to avoid a confrontative situation, in ministry and at home. I wish issues would just disappear. I have learned that there are times when confrontation is unavoidable, especially when God's laws are violated. Sometimes I'd remind myself that if I don't speak out, the person may not know that his/her behavior is not pleasing to God. And when I do speak out, I have to first examine myself, am I equally guilty of such sins? I also remind myself that if there is no love within me, I would rather not rebuke the person. Confrontation is never meant to punish a person, but to bring the individual back to a healthy relationship with God.

In vs.12-13, we saw people's positive response to Nehemiah's rebuke and confrontation. Then they said, “We will restore these and require nothing from them. We will do as you say.” And I called the priests and made them swear to do as they had promised. 13 I also shook out the fold of my garment and said, “So may God shake out every man from his house and from his labor who does not keep this promise. So may he be shaken out and emptied.” And all the assembly said “Amen” and praised the Lord. And the people did as they had promised. ” A conflict resolved. Once again, this community lived in peace and harmony. Nehemiah was the peacemaker, the mediator.

Conclusion:

  In this chapter, we learned how the people of God had mistreated each other. The rich took advantage of the poor. There was social injustice among them. Nehemiah came and gave us a good example of how to resolve conflicts. Conflict resolution involves good listening, proper control of anger, and courageous and humble confrontation when God's laws were disobeyed. He brought reconciliation to the people of God so they can live in harmony with God and with each other.

Nehemiah was a great peace-maker and mediator, yet he, too, had offended the poor. Again, this narrative points to someone who is greater than Nehemiah, Jesus Christ. Christ was peace-maker and mediator who brought peace to us so we can live in harmony with God and with fellow believers.

However, because of human sinfulness, this harmony is often disrupted. We may have been hurt by a brother or sister, or we have hurt someone close to us, causing conflicts among the Christian community. You see, external oppositions can bring a community together. On the other hand internal oppositions and disharmony can divide and even disintegrate a community.   

  As I look at this and many other churches, I feel God's people have not been doing well in the area of resolving conflicts. When conflicts surface in church, among the leaders, within a small group or fellowship group, we usually get up and leave the group. The same is true with families. When facing conflicts, individuals simply withdraw and want out of the marriage.

  It is such an irony that in many churches, we cannot tolerate certain music, certain clothing or hair style, or certain worship style, yet we tolerate disharmony and disunity. This must have broken our Lord's heart.

When our two older boys were younger, the younger son often annoyed his brother by following him around when his friends came over to the house and he would go to his room when the brother was gone and would take his toys or clothes without asking him. Finally, older brother was so fed up with him we had a family meeting in which he was able to honestly and openly tell his brother that he was annoying him because of these irresponsible and immature behaviors and asked him to stop. Younger brother understood and so with that confrontation, reconciliation was brought about between the two guys.

God's family is like this too. When there are misunderstandings, conflicts, we too need to sit down and honestly, openly talk about it. As a member of this community, it is our desire that by living in harmony and unity, will bring great pleasure to our Lord. I am certain we cannot do it on our own. We are to turn to Christ, that perfect peace-maker, to give us the strength and wisdom to resolve conflicts in the body of Christ and in families.