Date:   05/13/07

Text:   1 Peter 3:1-6

Title:   A Woman After God's Heart

Theme: Since God has called us to be his holy people, we are to treasure and develop the inner true beauty.

Introduction:

  In every pew, on any given Sunday, there are women who are hurting or struggling. Some of the reasons are:

1 •  Loneliness,

2 •  Pressure at work.

3 •  Lack of husband’s leadership at home thus having to bear most of the responsibilities in child rearing.

4 •  You feel your husband wants your full attention and attend to his very needs. He wants you to cook, be supportive in his work and leisure activities. He wants you to look good in front of his friends. And the only time he shows appreciation, is treat you with a dinner with all the kids.

No wonder sometimes, you look tired and stressed out when you come here on Sundays. You are looking for a place to relax, rest and breathe. Some of us may even feel like we’re living in the path of a hurricane. Home is supposed to be a shelter, but now has become a stressful place that you may even want to avoid. Deep within, you are crying out to God for help, seeking relevance of your faith in daily life.

In this letter, Peter reminded the believers that they are (1 Peter 2:9-10) 然而你們是蒙揀選的族類，是君尊的祭司，是聖潔的國民，是屬 神的子民，為要叫你們宣揚那召你們出黑暗入奇妙光明者的美德。 “ 你們從前不是子民，現在卻是 神的子民；從前未蒙憐恤，現在卻蒙了憐恤 。 God's chosen people, the royal priest. They belong to God, recipients of God's grace and mercy. Therefore as God's holy people, their distinction, their hallmark, is submission. Submission must be present in all walks of life: between citizen and government, servants and master, husbands and wives. Submission is a basic quality in kingdom living.

During the early days of the church history, many women became believers, but not their husbands. In that culture, a wife was expected to follow her husband’s religion and his circle of friends. If a wife became a Christians, it was considered unfaithful to him and his religion. She would also have a new circle of friends in the Christian community. In this community, there was a freedom that could be found nowhere. That is, there is no difference between the Jews and the gentiles, masters and slaves, male and female, for all are equal. This was unheard of in that 1 st century society. To see men and women worship God together was a scandal and the wife could easily be accused by her husband as being unfaithful and immoral. So, how should she live in a stressful and often unfriendly family situation? So, how should Christian wives in the 1 st and 21 st century live?

In this passage apostle Peter did not give us a list of things to do, but provided us with a simple truth that Since we are God's chosen people, therefore, we are to live a life in accordance to his pleasure..

I •  The woman after God's heart submits to her husband.

What should a wife do if her husband is not a believer and at times have certain unreasonable demands from her? It may have something to do with going to Christian gatherings, spending time away from home. In this passage we’re not given any specific details, but just the general guideline that the wife is to submit to her own husband, vs.1, “ 照樣，你們作妻子的，要順服自己的丈夫， ….. ” .

  Certainly we are all very sensitive to this word, “submission”. Several weeks ago, when I was in Almaty, in an open discussion session, a young lady shared with us that she was planning to get married at the end of this year. As the discussion went on, I asked, ‘do you think you can submit to him?” Without thinking, she immediately replied, “Why should I submit to him? We are all equal.” I am certain she was not the only one who thought like this. As we look at submission, it is important that we are aware of some of the following truths:

1 •  In the scripture, submission never means being inferior. We are all equal before God.

2 •  Submission is a major theme that runs from Genesis to Revelation. Beginning with Adam and Eve, God wants his children to submit and obey him. Obedience and submission to God are the key to living a meaningful and fulfilling life.

3 •  In the Christian community, believers are instructed to submit and obey their leaders, and to one another.

4 •  In the context of marriage, husband and wife both are to submit to their Lord Jesus Christ, and to each other. Out of this submission, the wife is to submit to the husband’s loving and caring leadership.

5 •  Children are taught to submit to their parents.

6 •  Last but not least, our submission to people is never absolute. Simply because as human beings, we are all sinners. How dare I expect you to submit to me completely? For me to demand total submission from my wife, children and congregation members is atrocious. Only God can demand absolute submission from us. It is important to remember that we cannot obey or submit ourselves to demands that are incompatible with God's truth as revealed in the scripture.

We notice that immediately after Peter instructed the wives, he instructed the husbands to be considerate, caring and respectful of their wives. When husbands are loving and caring, submission is seldom an issue in marriages.

Another way of looking at submitting to your husband is to see it as a way to serve him. When he complains that you are spending too much time in church, or with your Christian friends, may be this is his way of telling you that he wants you to spend more time with him. If this is the case, you may want to sit down with him and ask what are some of the days and times that he wants you to be home.

Peter also points out that because of the wife’s new found faith, she wants to tell her husband about it. Sometimes this zeal can become annoying, pushing people even more away from faith. So what should the wife do? Peter said, 3:1b-2“….. 好使不信道的丈夫受到感動，不是因著你們的言語，而是因著你們的生活， 2 因為他們看見了你們敬畏和純潔的生活。 ” This means the there are times, evangelism can be carried out without words, but through one’s conduct. The conduct Peter mentioned is being respectful to the husband and being sexually pure. To respect means not to impose my convictions, even though they are right, on you. I’ll listen to you, I’ll give you the space you need to think. I’ll let the Holy Spirit work in your life, according to his time and means. I want to make sure that my words or behavior will not become a stumbling block for you. I have heard people say, “look at how she treats me, there is no way I want to believe her God.” On the other hand, I also know that some of you men are in this church because you were touched by your wives conduct. Her loving conduct spoke louder than any words she can utter.

Another aspect of the conduct is sexual purity. In that 1 st century, it was easy for the husband to accuse his wife of immorality because of the Christian community. So Peter reminded the wives to be especially careful in this area.

Then and now, women face the same temptations, especially when certain basic emotional needs are not met at home. Be alert on this matter. When you feel that your husband doesn’t care for you, and you have that strong feeling and need to be cared for, don’t go and tell another man. Confide this to a mature Christian lady. Bring your needs to God. Tell him about your pain and sorrow in life. Let him fill you with his presence. Instead of focusing on the unmet needs, reach out to others and learn to serve them.

Whenever I discuss submission with you, I always want to make sure you understand that this submission never means submitting to your husband’s violent physical behavior towards you.

II.   The woman after God's heart treasures true inner beauty.

  Peter instructs the wives to win over their husbands to Christ via submission, respect and sexual integrity. These are external, observable behavior. Now Peter moves on to an inner quality. In the first century, women spent much money and time on their hair, dress and jewelry. Their appearance, hairdo, clothes and jewelry defined their status and identity. It’s like one youth who is into the gothic culture: wearing black clothes, wearing dark colored make up, ear rings, nose rings the whole works. And he says, “This is my identity, this is who I am.” Don't we sometimes let what we wear define who we are?

Peter says in vs.3, “ 不要單注重外表的裝飾，就如鬈頭髮、戴金飾、穿華麗衣服； …” Peter is not saying that you should not wear nice clothes, or just let your hair stick out in whatever direction it pleases, or no ear rings, rings, or no makeup. He is saying that these are not the most important thing in life. You should not be spending all your time and money on these external features. They do not define who you are. There is something far more important than this. How you do your hair, the clothes your wear and your jewelry are all noticeable by others. But there is something that is very precious to God. “vs.4, “ 卻要在裡面存著溫柔安靜的心靈，作不能毀壞的裝飾，這在 神面前是極寶貴的。 .” There is a beauty that is very precious to God and will not fade away. You see, your clothes, after several washes, the color will be gone. Your hair, after one wash, or after the rain, you’ll have to start all over again. After wearing the same jewelry for several months, you get bored, and want something else. But there is a beauty that does not fade nor perish. It is a gentle and quiet spirit. This is the true inner beauty that pleases God.

  The word gentle is used 4 times in the NT. 2x it is used on Jesus'' self description. One is used by Jesus in his sermon on the mount and the other occasion is used here by Peter. Peter wants the wives to have that gentle spirit as Jesus did. They are to be Christ like. Gentleness does not mean being weak and a doormat for others. A gentle person is courteous to others, not abrasive or harsh in words and behavior. A gentle person understands and accepts others. A gentle person exhibits a warm, welcoming attitude and not an alienating one. A quiet person is not quarrelsome. Proverbs give us some examples of the opposite of a gentle and quiet spirit. Prov. 21:9,19, “ 寧可住在房頂的一角，也不跟吵鬧的婦人同住一間房屋。 寧可住在野地，也不跟吵鬧易怒的婦人同住 ” A gentle and quiet person is not easily irritable.

  If I need to develop this gentle and quiet spirit, I need to know what are some of the obstacles. When there is resentment or bitterness towards someone, when there is an unhealthy self image, when there is anger due to unmet emotional needs, it is hard to be a gentle and quiet person. When we are under stress, we become easily irritable, we’ll tend to express some of those strong emotions in hurting and cutting words and unfriendly body language. Once we identify the source of not being gentle and quiet, then we are to deal with them. Or seek the help of a more mature person.

III.   The woman after God's heart is in good company.

  Why this submission, gentle and quiet spirit? Yes, it is very precious to God. But there is more. 3:5-6, “ 因為古時仰望 神的聖潔婦女，正是這樣裝飾自己，順服丈夫， 6 像撒拉聽從亞伯拉罕，稱他為主一樣；你們若行善，不怕任何恐嚇，就是撒拉的女兒了。 ” Peter pointed to the holy women in the past, meaning in the OT. These holy women submitted to their husbands, they had a gentle and quiet spirit. Peter used Sarah, Abraham’s wife as an example. She obeyed Abraham and called him lord, or master. This does not mean that we are to call our husbands lord or master. This is Sarah’s way of expressing her submission to her husband. Sarah was also a person with a gentle and quiet spirit. Why is Sarah like this? Sarah and other OT women are called holy women. They trusted the Lord. They were called holy not because of their perfect conduct, but because of their faith in God. Sarah was certainly not a perfect lady. Yes she was gentle, quiet and submit to Abraham, but she went along with Abraham to tell lies that she was not his wife. She was impatient in waiting for the promised son, so she gave her maid Hagar, to Abraham. This was a mistake, a big one. She also had problems believing God that she would give birth to a son when she was 90 years old. Who could blame her? Yet the scripture described her as holy and trusting God. We can also think of Hannah and Ruth as women in OT who were submissive and having a gentle and quiet spirit.

  You see, Sarah, Hannah and Ruth are OT women who were called holy. They were holy, not because they had that perfect gentle and quiet spirit. They were called holy, because they trusted God, they had faith in him. Even though at times their faith was weak, yet they lived in God's love and care. And because they were holy, belonging to God, they wanted to live in such a way that pleases God. A submissive, gentle and quiet spirit is very precious to God.

  This is the meaning of Peter’s writing here. Christian wives are also God's chosen people, belonging to God. Therefore as God's chosen and holy people, we want to live in such a way that is pleasing to God. He wants His daughters to be submissive to their husbands. He wants his daughters, to be like Jesus Christ, to have that humble, gentle and quiet spirit. Dear sisters, you are not alone on this. You have the OT holy women, as clouds surrounding you. Like Sarah and other women, you are holy not because you are perfect. You are holy because you belong to Christ. And because you belong to Christ, you want to be like him, and he can certainly give you the strength you need to become gentle and quiet in spirit. Not just these holy women of the past, as you look around in this community, you can also see women with that gentle and quiet spirit. The scripture also tells us that when we set our priority on God, doing what is pleasing to him, it will also drive out fear from us. When we fear God, we will not fear man anymore.

  As I get to know some of you, I also begin to recognize that gentle and quiet spirit within you. At times, when we pastors are discouraged, your gentle and quiet spirit, that gentle and affirming spirit always brings great comfort to us.

  To develop this gentle and quiet spirit not only requires us to be aware of those negative emotions within us. It is also important that we develop a close relationship with our Lord. spend time in our daily prayer and reading of God's word. You see, God is that ultimate gentle and quiet person. therefore it is paramount that we be close to him so that we too can reflect this inner beauty.

Conclusion:

  When our husbands treat us with great love, care and respect, submission and respect, a gentle and quiet spirit is seldom a problem. However, when husbands are unreasonable, immature and behave like kids, submission is difficult or impossible. But it is in such situations God's word instructs us to be submissive. When we most want to fight back and get even, we are told to have that gentle and quiet spirit.

This gentle and quiet spirit is like the eye of a hurricane (slide). You see, when we feel stressful, when we feel that we are living in the path of a hurricane, remember, there is a place that is quiet and peaceful. This inner beauty is the source of your strength. This inner beauty brings peace and stability into your home. This inner beauty is what God treasures most. Without this, our lives can be chaotic.

Having submission, a gentle and quiet spirit are all difficult. This is the reason we are to constantly remind ourselves that we belong to him. Because we are his chosen and holy people, we want our lives to be pleasing to him. Because we are his chosen and holy people, with his help, we want to learn to be submissive at home, to cultivate that gentle and quiet spirit. Because we are his chosen and holy people, with his help, we want to be like him at home.

One final word for husbands among us. Do you know what is the best Mother’s Day gift you can give your wife? Be considerate, Care and Respect her. In so doing, submission will not be an issue for her. When you are considerate, caring and respectful, it will help her to develop and possess a gentle and quiet spirit.