Date:   05/08/05

Text:   1 Peter 3:1-6

Title:   A Woman of Virtue

Theme: A woman of God learns to develop lasting beauty in her life.

Introduction:

  On this Mother's Day, instead of preaching a sermon about motherhood, I would like to speak to the women among us. Being a woman in this day and age is not easy. There are the demands of being a super mom, super wife and super career woman. There are all kinds of books in English and Chinese to help you succeed in one or all these areas. However, these books often leave you with guilt and disillusionment. Coming to church this morning, you certainly don't need to hear another sermon on how to be a super mom or woman. Such sermons are for Father's Day.

  With this in mind, I want to be very careful not to lay another guilt trip on you. Instead, I want to share with you that, it is important for us to grasp hold of something, a direction, or some core values that can sustain us in an ever changing world.

  The passage we read this morning is addressed to the wives. We notice these words, “imperishable, ...…precious in God's sight…..” If nothing else, this should get our attention. As followers of Jesus Christ, we certainly want to know what is precious in God's sight, and imperishable. Here, we shall see that there are 3 values, very precious to God.

I.   A Christian woman pursues holy living. 1-2.

  In the 1 st century church, in many families, the wives would be the first ones converted to Christianity. With this new found faith, it would be natural for them to talk and convince their husbands to believe in Jesus. Some of you wives remember the days soon after your conversion, how eager you were to share this with your husband. You invited Christian friends or your pastor to your home for dinner so they can talk to your husband. You make phone calls so others will invite him to church functions. Such zeal is certainly understandable. But what did Peter say here? Vs.1-2, “ 1 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives— 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct.” Peter is saying, your unbelieving husbands may not listen to God's words. So, don't use words to win them to Christ, but with your conduct. What kind of conduct? Respectful and pure.

  Respectful means being reverent, fearing God. To fear God is to obey God's commandments and instructions as revealed in the Scriptures. Pure means moral purity in both thoughts and behavior. The scripture tells us that we're to win over our husbands not with words, but with holy living,

  In this letter, on several other occasions Peter mentioned the importance of conduct. Can you take a guess why Peter put such an emphasis on conduct? You see, shortly before Jesus' arrest, Peter boasted to Jesus that he would go with him both to prison and to death. Yet several hours later, he denied Jesus 3 times. He knew first hand that words could be cheap. Words can impress people for 30 minutes, 1 hour or a weekend. But what counts is how you live. Pursuing holy living is to be our priority. The first core value that is precious to God is to pursue holy living. This is how we can influence our family, friends and colleagues so they too may one day come to know Christ.

  I now that among us, there are many wives who can testify to this truth. You remember how your husband by seeing how you have changed after you came to know Christ, some sooner than others; also put his faith in Christ. Some of your husbands are still not believers yet. Don't give up on them. Continue your holy living. This is pleasing to God, this is what he wants from you. The second value that is precious in God's sight is:

II.   A Christian woman pursues inner quality. 3-4

  There are many differences between men and women. But there is a major one in our attitude towards clothes. Generally speaking, women dress so others will notice. Do you remember what it was like when your wife or girl friend wore a new dress and you did not notice? Or when they ask you, “Do you like my dress?” This is a simple question but sometimes hard to answer, right? Men, generally speaking, are quite different. We look at clothes as functional. If there is a sale on shirts, we may buy 5 or 10 of them, same style and same color. We simply don't care too much about how others look at us.

  External appearance is important to many women. Here Peter says, 3-4, “ 3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair, the wearing of gold, or the putting on of clothing— 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.” He is not saying don't put on any make up, or have your hair done, or wear nice clothes. On the contrary he said don't be excessive in your outward appearance. What is within you is more important.

  The ‘hidden person of the heart' is your inner self. It may not be visible to our physical eyes, but just as real as the visible, physical body. What are you to do about this? To adorn, to decorate, to polish the inner self with the gentle and quiet spirit.

  The word gentle is used 4 times in the NT. One time in Jesus'' sermon on the mount, he taught his followers to be gentle. Two other times were used to describe Jesus, and the 4 th time here. Gentleness is a quality, an air that surrounds someone. A gentle person is kind, being good and doing good to others. A gentle person treats people like a mother feeds her infant. Many years ago, the United moving company had this advertisement: “we treat your furniture as if it is an egg.” A gentle person treats others as if they have a label saying: Fragile, Please Handle With Care. A gentle person is willing to let go of her rights for the good of others. A gentle person is understanding and forgiving.

  Do you want to be a gentle person? The first step is to see if there is any cynicism you have towards anyone. Are you abrasive in your words and behavior? Is there any resentment or bitterness you may have towards others? A person who is cynical, abrasive; with unresolved anger, resentment and bitterness is difficult to be gentle.

  Several weeks ago, I was editing an email by a sister to be sent to an organization. In my response to her, I wrote, can you be a little gentler? Her response, in a light hearted way, “More gentle? You should see the kind of emails that are going around in our office. Maybe I have been in this field too long.” Our world is not known for being gentle. Gentleness is often seen not as a virtue, but an obstacle to career advancement, yet it is precious in God's sight.

  The other character we are to adorn our inner self is a quiet spirit. A quiet spirit does not mean someone who doesn't talk. Yes, someone who doesn't talk is quiet, but she may be screaming inside. Instead, a person with a quiet spirit is one who is at peace with herself. Here is an example of a quiet spirit. Peter in 2:22-23, “ 22 He (Jesus) committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. 23 When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly.” Jesus is that perfect model of a quiet spirit. He recognized God's sovereignty in his life. From my personal experience, I know when I truly believe and accept God's sovereignty in all areas of my life, when I recognize that even in some of the most unimaginable and difficult situations God is there, I experience the inner peace that transcends all circumstances.

  A gentle and quiet spirit radiates from inside out. A person who is gentle and quiet, is a gracious person. I think of Ms. Martinson, a missionary in the church I grew up in HK. I don't really remember much of her words, but I always remember her as being gentle and quiet. Do you know someone who is gentle and quiet? You may want to spend time with her and get to know her more.

  Physical beauty comes and goes. No matter how many face lifts you have done, or how many botox shots you receive to smoothen out your wrinkles, your physical beauty with eventually fade away. But this inner beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit lasts forever and is precious to God. May we ask God to help us, to make this a priority, a core value in life.

III.   A Christian woman develops a submissive heart.

  The third core value precious to God is a submissive heart. This passage begins and ends with the exhortation to submit to one's husband, “…….”. I have treated this subject in greater detail in some of my other sermons. This morning I want to provide some general guidelines. First, submission to the husband must include the careful consideration of vs.7, and passages in Ephesians 5. Secondly, we need to understand submission in the context of biblical theology.

  In Genesis 2:18 we learned that man and woman are created to complement each other and be each other's companion. In Genesis 3 we learn of man and woman's disobedience to God. As a result of this rebellion, the perfect man and woman relationship was broken. This disobedience brought about severe consequences in this relationship. Among them, 3:16, “….your (the woman) desire shall be for your husband and he shall rule over you.” This term desire has caused many discussions. Some interpret this : as a result of sin, woman shall be dependent upon the husband. However in 4:7, “ 7 If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is for you, but you must rule over it.” It is the same word ‘desire' used in Genesis 3. In chapter 4, the word ‘desire' means to dominate and control. Sin wants to dominate Cain but Cain must not give in, he is to rule over sin. However, Cain gave in to sin and killed his brother. With this as background, then 3:16 begins to take on a new meaning. That is, as a result of human's disobedience to God, the woman would want to dominate man, and man would fight back and control her. Isn't this what we see in many of the marriages? It is supposed to be complementary and companionship, but instead turned into dominance, control; a perpetual power struggle between husband and wife.

  However, as we have been redeemed by Christ, the Holy Spirit will work within us to restore the husband and wife relationship to what it was meant at the time of creation. This means that the wife is to give up the desire to dominate in the relationship, and at the same time, the husband will also have to give up the desire to control. Instead, the husband is to love his wife like Christ loved the church. It is a sacrificial love, a nurturing love. On the other hand, the wife is to submit to her husband; providing that it is not submission to sin and abuse.

  Whenever there is a problem in a wife's submission to her husband, it is usually the husband having a problem with controlling.

  It is in this context that Peter urges the wives to submit to their husbands. Or the woman needs to develop a submissive spirit. Peter then used Sarah as an example. She obeyed Abraham and called him Lord, or master in a different translation. In the OT days, this is a term expressing respect for someone, and not in the sense we mean it today. When you are submissive to your husband, you will also respect him. Without a gentle and quiet spirit, it is very hard to submit to one's husband.

Conclusion:

  Being a woman is not easy. We see how women's role changes as the society changes. With the onset of feminism in the 60's and 70's in this country, women changes their role from being homemakers to career women. After almost over 20 years of achieving great success in their professions, many women feel disillusioned and dissatisfied with their jobs. In recent years, many highly successful women have given up their professions and return home to be full time mothers. Certainly being flexible is very important in this day and age.

  However, without some core and permanent values, we'll have the tendency to be influenced by our society. We go with the flow. Sometimes I feel that so many of us are taking our orders from the society. We be or become what the society expects of us. This could be frustrating, isn't it? Our society will continue to change in the years to come. But what is important is for us to hold onto some permanent values that can provide us with a clear direction in an ever changing world.

  God leads some of you to be full time homemakers, others working full time or part time. Yet there is something God expects from all of us. He is not looking for a super mom, super wife or a super career woman. He is after your inner self. He wants you to be a woman who desires holy living by being obedient to his word. He wants you to develop that inner beauty of gentle and quiet spirit, being a gracious person. Out of this gentle and quiet spirit, you submit to a loving and caring husband.

  God knows this is not easy. So he gave us Christ to be our model. He is gentle and quiet; he submits to his heavenly father even to death on the cross. Not only this, but Christ also provides us with the strength we need to be like him. He is both our model and enabler.

  In closing, I also would like to say a few words to the men, especially the husbands, or husbands to be, among us. As husbands, as servant leaders of our families, we have the responsibility to help our wives to develop that inner beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit. Instead of controlling and manipulating, we are to love them with sacrificial and nurturing love. It is to such leadership, our wives are instructed to submit to their husbands.